Staghelm: Cleaning out the folder

IHS had a scheduled 25man every Thursday, & every Thursday no one would show up. I couldn't even imagine how FTM had once done 40man raids. Even though the raid was supposed to start around 8:30, at 8:30 there would be fewer than 10 on, & I'd have to start texting people. It was very frustrating.

But that's just me. I LIKED raiding with my guildies. From here, looking back, I don't know if the crappy attendance was due to passive-aggressive drama amongst the boys or if people were just getting weary of WoW. It was probably both.

Our Tuesday night 10mans were even hard to assemble in the last days. Where previously I had sometimes not gotten in to the 10man because they already had 10 people, now I was texting people on freaking Tuesday nights.

I'll be honest. It's hard for me not to feel bitter about this. I didn't have issues with anyone in IHS, not then. If I did, I'd say something about it, rather than make the guild suffer for it. To me, that's fair. I always make the mistake of assuming that other people want to be fair, too, & that if they had a problem with someone they would either say something, or harbor the issue without affecting other uninvolved parties. You know... like grown ups. Yeah, I'm so naive.

Even in retrospect I don't really know what was going on. All I knew was that guild morale was crappy. I've grumbled about it to one of my friends & his take on it is that there was a rift between the more progressive players & the "squatters," & this tension killed everyone's morale. It's true that many of the IHS players who had been active & online almost daily completely or almost completely vanished shortly after the influx of FTM players. I've been informed of many of the reasons for specific IHS players disappearing, & I don't think I've been lied to, but it's just such a big coincidence. They all left at the same time. And they came back at the same time - after we moved to Thaurissan. So I don't know what to think. I don't think there was animosity directed toward me specifically, but I still feel betrayed.

Men. Men can be such vaginas.

So currently I have still not killed Lich King, & I have not even tried since moving to Thaurissan. I don't really care about Lich King. I don't care about raiding right now. I like Thaurissan a lot, but when it comes to progression I just don't want to think about it for awhile. If the day comes when I have a guild again - & that means a group of friends who are all getting along & being nice to each other - & they all want to raid, then I'll want to raid again too. It's not because I'm a follower but simply because raiding isn't fun for me without everyone else having fun too.

I have a lot of hope for Cataclysm - Phil & Kelson said they're going to start playing again, & although the Oregon crew said they are quitting WoW to play FFxiv, I'm fairly certain they'll be back by November or shortly thereafter. A number of FTM guys I haven't played with since Minionette days (Jahni, Fique, Aaron) have moved to Thaurissan as well. There are a few still in IHS that I wish would come to Thaurissan (frankly, I wish almost everyone would... about as effectively as I wish everyone would grow the fuck up, but I still wish it) but I know they're not coming, & that's ok. With the new Real ID feature, we can still keep in touch cross server.

If the "squatters" theory is true, then I guess this couldn't have been helped. People just want different things - some want to move & others want to sit still. Ultimately one can't remain with the other. I'm trying to let it go. I'm trying to stop feeling bitter about it. It might take a little longer. Or maybe all will be well in November.

There are certainly things I miss about Staghelm. Meh, those situations wouldn't be coming up again now anyway. I still have my alts there, but I'm so spoilt from the ping on Thaurissan that I run into problems with my global cooldowns or even running away before I'm done looting on Stag. I'm just leveling alts until Cataclysm. It's actually kind of fun. A little lonely sometimes, maybe.
Occasionally I think to myself it might be time to quit WoW. I think I have to delete my Facebook before I quit WoW. I hate Facebook a lot more than WoW. And the last time I quit WoW it cost me a LOT of money, although I tend to think it would be better this time around. However, with Cataclysm coming there's just no point in that. I'd be back if only out of curiosity. So I've just got to hold on a little longer.

It's no picnic, let me tell you.

Moving to Thaurissan.

Well, it didn't go as planned.

There had been casual talk about moving from Staghelm, a Dallas based server (average Dalaran ping for me 350) to an LA based server where the ping would be a lot lower. Every time it came up, usually over drinks, I always said I'd be willing to go if everyone wanted to go.

When the discussion became more serious & a few of us started trying out LA servers, I made it a point to mention it to people. Everyone I mentioned it to said they would move. I even called a guildie, who had been mostly absent for several months, to personally discuss the talk about moving with him, & he was amenable. At least, if a response of "Ok, let me know then" is considered amenable, which at the time I took it to be.

The 3 or 4 of us who were testing out ping had narrowed it down to 2 servers, & then sat on it for a week. Every day someone asked which server we were going to move to, but no one would take the plunge & choose. Everyone was waiting for someone else to do it. Finally when one person said he would like to know which server to start leveling his rogue alt on, I sent out an email to everyone, asking for a vote.

It was at the END of the vote that a couple of people, the person I had called on the phone & his friend who originally voted for a server, announced they would not be moving. But it turned out to be more than just a couple of people; hardly anyone moved: from IHS, only 7. People who said they would move seemed to just forget what they had said.

I thought we were all going, & I did my best to communicate with people about what I pictured to be a good thing, & if there had been even some discussion about not wanting to move, I would have stopped to rethink this, because I would choose my friends over better ping.

People talk so much bullshit. They say, "Yeah, I will" without meaning it. I used to do that. At some point I made a conscious effort to not be full of shit. So I know how to say "no" just as easily as "yes." Whatever it is, I tell the truth. If I fuck up, I say something about it. I don't skulk around & pretend nothing happened.

I know that it's unfair of me to expect that from other people. Apparently for most people this is really fucking hard. Today someone blatantly lied to me about his friend's reason for not transferring. I didn't point it out. Maybe his friend lied to him. It doesn't matter. I don't care.

So now I'm just alone all the time. When I log into WoW, most of the time it's pretty much just me. It's like Bloodscalp again, except this time instead of everyone leaving it's because people SAID they would meet me there & then they just let me go. It's like that time in 9th grade when my POS girlfriends (Heidi Tengan, Shelby Shigaki - yeah FUCK YOU bitches) thought it would be funny to tell me to meet them outside the football game at 5:30 & instead met at 5:15 & went inside without me. And I waited, & waited, & waited, because I would never have thought they would have lied about it.

I know. I expect too much of other people; I can't help it. I wish I could stop. I'm so sick of being let down, but the only way to stop is to just not have friends any more. Although that's starting to look like it wouldn't be much lonelier than things already are.

Loyalty. Honesty. Kindness. Conscientiousness. WoW is just a game. You don't expect those things from a game.

Just futting around

I actually don't have a whole lot of screenshots to post since the last blog, but since I can't seem to get past the loading screen tonight I might as well blog what I've got.

With UH Commencement this month we did skip a Thursday ICC25, & with my gig coming up this week I think we may have to skip another Thursday (sorry guys; please come to my gig though!). Also, Kelson & Sherrie are in the Bahamas so we're missing a DK. How many trips do you guys take per year, anyway? I swear this is like the 3rd one in the last 6 months.

We're hoping to finally get the Lich King at least on 10 man some time soon; since our 10mans are usually on Tuesdays tomorrow's Beers Of The World at Kanpai may set us back a little bit, but maybe we can do half tomorrow & finish it up on Wednesday. Jahni & Aaron may be faction transferring some time soon. Maybe Kruse too! Mud shall be pushed! Oh yes!!

The only thing is that I wish we were on a server with better ping. But I guess we can't exactly ask people to move now. I myself have ridiculous amounts of toons on this server.

I've been slowly leveling my hunter alt. It's going quite slowly but I'm enjoying Northrend. I'm more of a journey than destination type. Yes, I've been leveling Fishing & Cooking. This Jewelcrafting is going to take forever too. Actually, I think the crappiest part of Jewelcrafting is the damn Mining. Omg I hate Mining. I think that's my biggest problem right now.

A lot of people won't bother to level professions until they're 80 & that's probably a good idea. I like Fishing & Cooking just because I like playing with food stats. As a hunter who cares, but it's just nice.

Once my hunter is 80 I have no idea what I'm going to do with her other than buy heirloom items for the other toons (druid, priest, paladin) on that account. I decided to level the hunter because I figured it would be quickest. And, as slow as this is going, it probably is. lol

I'm not falling asleep leveling Beast Mastery like I was on Khaz Modan; I attribute this to leveling Horde. The NPCs have more personality, the quests aren't gay sounding, & overall it's just so much more pleasantly unpleasant. I think I'll always be an Undead girl at heart & playing on the Alliance side just hurts me after awhile.
Kevin & I decided to do a little mage/priest 2v2. It was pretty fun; we just did 10 matches just to get a few points. Our 10th match ended up being Kelson & Phil. We entered the map, & I saw a wolvar DK with the name "Kadonei" over his head jump up & look at us, & I just started laughing.

We lost. I couldn't do enough damage to Phil or keep Kelson sheeped. Bleh. Maybe we'll try this again another day. Was still funny as hell.
And then, some more pvp while we waited outside Ulduar to do the weekly. No, I have not maxed out my Unarmed yet.

Still Hearting Seki, 2010

If you see text overlapping images, refresh the page. Dunno why it's doing that.
I actually don't have a lot of pictures of Seki himself in this blog; I think these from the Gulch might be the only ones. He kind of disappeared in the last month or so. He does that.

The first half of 2010 has been mostly about Ice Crown Citadel. We've BG'd, but not a whole lot. Although Tako, Kelson & I had some decent progress in 3v3s we haven't really pursued that, I think mostly due to scheduling issues. Tako's hardly been on in the last month because of work. I have a lot of fun listening to Kelson & Phil on vent doing their 2v2 though. Their druid/DK combo seems to be working out well. It's even more entertaining when they use their spiffy new headsets to speak to each other in Female Gnome or Mal'Ganis voices.

My attitude toward pvp has changed somewhat since Tichondrius days. I'm so lazy now. I can't even imagine leveling up on a pvp server. And I think that's sad.

Of course, leveling up on a pvp server now wouldn't be anywhere near as fun as it was 5 years ago. Now everyone is 80. If you're leveling up an alt in STV you might see another player in the zone once in awhile, & half the time they will be accompanied by their level 80 friend or level 80 other account to speed it up, since they're someone's alt.

So the only pvp I really see is in Battlegrounds.

I got my pally/shammy duo to level 60. Finally. That was torture. I was so sick of dual boxing that leveling Mining looked like fun.


Mining got really tired after the first few hours. I ended up working on less miserable professions. Drunk Kato kept me company.


Logan took me joyriding on his bike:


And then there was Kelson's mammoth. And Birdy's mammoth. I didn't realize how handy these things are in BGs. They're like a clown car. You still take damage as a passenger though, & not just to your crotch.


More goofing around in Dalaran.



And some goofing around in Wintergrasp.


In April there was Easter & Keegan's birthday. I'm still trying to think of some kind of witty statement about what they have in common, but nothing is coming to mind.



One day Keegan was running around on his level 63 hunter, & since I have always liked Keegan (I'm a bartender. He's an alcoholic. There's an affinity there.) I asked him if he needed help with anything. Did he need Ramparts? Did he have any elite or group quests I could help with? He hadn't done Ramparts yet but didn't need to right now. No, he didn't really have any pressing quests he needed help with. Oh ok. So I switched to my pally/shammy duo (oh, the DRUDGERY) & began chatting him up.

"The nice thing about playing an alt is that I don't have to deal with anybody," he whispered me.

Doh!! "Oh ok, I understand," I replied. If this had been IRL I think I would be crying. Holy shit, I had no idea he didn't want to be bothered! I mean, I just ASSUME people like talking to me. Well, except for Nasai maybe. But you know, I have days when I don't really want to do a lot of chatting. Those days when I'm feeling the Zen of WoW. That's why I have unguilded alts. Of course, I end up messaging Tako or Phil or Todd anyway. Meh.

"Not that I don't like talking to you," Keegan whispered. But I knew what he meant. He liked talking to me. He really did. Just not right now. It was just mortifying because I had just thoughtlessly chatted him up in the last several minutes. How could I be so oblivious? "It's ok!" I assured him. I made a happy face to show I wasn't a sobbing mass of wounded rejection.

"It's an honor to talk to you," he said.

lol

When Fique told me on a Sunday night at the bar about Keegan's impending birthday get together at Kanpai the following Monday night I made it a point to go. I never get invited to anything. This is partly because I don't go out much & partly because everyone else grew up together. I grew up with all these people that I have no idea where the hell they are today. I didn't really like most of the people in my high school. No, I was not a goth chick.

The get together at Kanpai was really nice, & Keegan did talk to me (since he was not on his alt, obviously). I skipped out around midnight but I understand that Keegan did not even deign to lean over when he vomited all over the mens room at Evergreen. He just geysered, in a practically horizontal arc. When we did Festergut a few days later I made sure I was within screenshotting distance.

By the time my birthday came around at the end of April we still had not killed Professor Putricide. Having reached the age where shots are no longer necessary to prove that I am a year older (I think it's just called "Old."), we had a nice, tame dinner at Ruth's Chris. In the last several years that we've planned birthday dinners for myself or others, everyone at the dinner chips in to pay for the birthday person's dinner. Since we were inviting a pretty large group of people, we figured I could get away with Ruth's Chris this year. =)

It's always been hard getting 25 people together to do ICC25 on Thursdays. The days of Raid Sign Ups on message boards & 40 people repairing, buying reagents, & traveling to the outside of the instance PRIOR to the raid start time are long gone. When I first transferred over here Chad folks were doing 10man Ulduars but only sporadically. When FTM guys started transferring over a lot of the 2nd Gen IHS guys seemed to disappear, but of course this was the time of faction transfers so a lot of things were changing for a lot of people. But at any rate we've never seemed to have a solid, consistent 25 raiders. It always looks like it, & then someone gets married or gets a girlfriend or whatever (fools) & then we are short people again.

Because of bad experiences picking up random, if geared, players we've had to make some rather stringent loot rules. It just hurt too much when some PUG who was coming along with us for the first time, & was bobbing around on the bottom of the DM, won the roll on an item that one of our faithfuls had been waiting weeks for to drop. So now we tell any 1st timers that they will be unable to roll on weapons or trinkets if we have one of the faithful along who needs that trinket. If they do a good job they may get invited back next time. And next time they will have roll privileges. It may sound mean, but hey --- it's our raid.

One such faithful was our friend Ryan1 (since there were 2 Ryans when we were playing on Onyxia, I gave them numbers). His hunter is one of our top DPS & had lost the roll on a rather important bow to another hunter who was there for the first time, & who rarely showed up to other raids later on. This burned.

Ryan1 still hasn't gotten that bow, but now this is somewhat his own fault, because he has been absent from raids for several weeks. Every Thursday we'd be calling & texting people because we were trying to get everyone on to raid, & we'd hear, from whoever was at Ryan1's house at the time (I think he & Logs are renting together, & their other friends, also guildies, are often at their place), that he couldn't raid because someone named "Courtney" was there.

"Where's Ryan1?" we'd ask on vent.

"Courtney's here," would be the answer, & we'd know he wasn't going to be logging on.

Naturally this led to feelings of resentment. Ditching us for a girl?? Something like this would be relatively understandable if she was his wife or even just girlfriend... but she wasn't. She wasn't even his sex partner. She was his Bubble Bobble opponent. Group discussion (over drinks, of course) on a Sunday night led to the conclusion that if Ryan1 wasn't boning her but he wasn't showing up to raids either then he was a FAG.

That's right, Ryan1. A fag. No offense to any gay people. We know you'd be right there in ICC25 with us if you were in IHS. I mean, there's Brent. And Craig. Anyway.

At Ruth's Chris Ryan1, faced with a room full of middle fingers, agreed that he would join us on our Thursday raid, & true to his word, he did. Possibly because he had shown up, a lot of other people showed up as well, & we only had to bring along 2 non-IHS. He also blew me away on the DM. And, we finally killed Professor Putricide, for the first time. A guild first. So let me say it in this blog:

Ryan1 is no longer a fag.

At least not this week.



Anyway, I am having fun. When I first started playing WoW, I had no concept of playing in a guild. I'd been in a guild in EQ - a raiding guild, even - but I had never leveled high enough to go on raids. I got to go on a Naggy raid once, back when Nagafen was a big deal, but all I was allowed to do was conjure mod rods for the healers. In From Chaos I was among friends but I never really did much raiding, & even in FTM I was always so terrified of screwing up that any time they needed someone to drop so they could being in another healer I would volunteer. It's nice here in IHS. We're not hardcore so I have plenty of time to do all my little OCD things, but twice a week I get to see raid content, & learn how to raid (still learning!), & in great company with people I trust & genuinely like. So thanks guys. Also, I think my Bloodmage shiet looks pretty hawt.

And I still have time for fishing.